Nicole | Personal | Annerley | 30th July 2013
So it’s just over 5 weeks until I am off to Peru to hike to Machu Picchu on a 11 day adventure. I am so excited, but at the same time, I have this crazy fear of failure… you know, the what if scenarios that run on repeat around our heads when we are doing something epic – What if I don’t make it to the top? What if I get altitude sickness? What if I can’t reach my fundraising goal of $8000? What if I let everyone down who has donated to Youngcare on my behalf? What if the juggling of business and fundraising is detrimental to my business? What if I get anxious on the 16.5hr plane flight to Peru? What if I get massive blisters on my feet and can barely walk? What if I’m not mentally strong enough to trek the distance? What if I haven’t trained hard enough in the lead up? What if? What if? What if?
Do you ever have moments like this in your life? I find that the fear of failure builds up without you even knowing. When you know you are achieving a massive dream, but the steps to get there are a little scary. I think the reason that my fear of failure has gone in to over drive for me at the moment, is that making such a massive decision without much thought (I lead with my heart – I wanted to do something epic that helped others along the way) and knowledge the actual trip has been limited. (I am only now starting to research what I need to do, buy, pack and figure out the details).
It’s been such an interesting personal journey already for me just saying yes to going on this trip. It is the most amazing, spontaneous, crazy decision I have ever made, but one that I really needed to make at this point in my life. I think the presence of fear makes the journey in the lead up, and no doubt when I am thinking about giving up on the trek (as no doubt there will come a point) that I can look back on this blog post and push through the pain. I think the biggest fear I have at the moment is the fear of the unknown. But that’s half the fun. I think arriving at Machu Picchu after 5 days of solid walking in high altitude (2,430m above sea level) and seeing it for the first time is going to be one of those moments in my life I can look back at when I am old and grey and think, wow, what an amazing moment. You did it, you achieve what you set out, you were met with challenges but you pushed through them. And by thinking about all of the young Australians that I am helping out by doing this charity trek, will give me the extra motivation to push through those moments I will have when the thought of giving up could be too easy. I am incredibly privileged to be able to hike to Moonstone Trek to Machu Picchu. The young Australians we are raising money for, would never get the opportunity to do this. I hope I don’t let them down.
So I guess to point to this post is to just share a bit about my journey in the lead up to the trek. But also as a diary to document how I was feeling through the entire journey. It’s exciting giving yourself challenges. It is making me doing things I have always been too scared or too afraid to do. It is giving me even more determination in my life to succeed at whatever goals I may set for myself. It is getting me out of my comfort zone. I think everyone needs to set themselves scary goals and work towards achieving them… What have you got to loose??
And being a photographer, I can’t end this post without a photo or two… So here are a few of my instagram photos that I have been taking as part of my training journey to get to Machu Picchu. My instagram user name is nbpnicole if you would like to follow my journey.
And if you would like to support my fundraising efforts for Youngcare Australia, here is the link to donate: