Nicole | Personal | Inside my Head | 3rd April 2010
Today I was looking through an old hard drive for some images for a friend, when I came across a self portrait that I completed when I was back in uni. As apart of my degree I took a photography elective as it was something that I enjoyed and wanted to have a bit of fun doing it. When I came across this self portrait, it stirred quite a few feelings in my mind.. is this still how I view myself? is how I view myself the same as others view me? Or do others view me in a completely different light?
I guess we all perceive ourselves in one light. I know for me I am quite a harsh critic on myself and especially on my photography. When i was brainstorming what to do for my self portrait.. I had this idea that I wanted to show that there are many different sides and emotions to me – happy, sad, thoughtful, silly, fun, excited. So I had my camera set up on a tripod, a roll of colour film ready to go, and I set the timer and just click. Each click of the shutter I pulled a different face. I wanted to capture a different facet of my personality in every frame. So I took the whole roll of film, had it processed and wonder what the heck I was going to do with the rest of the photos. I had to create a black and white portrait from memory. I will always remember how I came up with the final composition. I was in the shower thinking away, when it came to me. Why don’t I hang myself on the clothes line? It was perfect!! I grabbed the photos and rushed out to the clothes line. It looked awesome. I snapped away, black and white film loaded and came up with the below shot. I love it!!
I have always had trouble trying the capture the same “great” shot of myself again. I know it is time to create another one, but I am still a little stuck on a concept. How do I show who I am at the current moment? How do I perceive myself?? I guess setting oneself these challenges always produces a better result. I know when I finalize the concept and shoot it, it will be perfect… but until then.. here is the original portrait I shot. I can’t believe how young I look!!!
“All men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives,
trying to create their idea of a masterpiece” -Eddie Murphy